This is one of the questions I’ve been asking myself for – well; forever. I want to believe we do; in fact most days I want to believe it desperately. Then I take a look at my own life and the doubt settles in. If I have a calling it hasn’t called to me loudly enough yet. I’m not sure how a woman can get to 42 and not know what she wants to be when she grows up, but somehow that’s where I find myself. I read somewhere a long while ago to act as if you know the answer to the question being asked. Now this wasn’t specifically meant to be about callings, but it seems to me that it could work in this instance too.
I’m reading an amazing book – Callings, Finding and Following an Authentic Life, by Gregg Levoy. In it he tells readers to be curious, to observe those things that interest us and to remember ”that for now you don’t have to do anything about what you find out with your curiosity.” I like this way of seeing our callings, it’s comforting and easy. I feel like it gives me room to move and flow and see what’s coming my way. It makes me feel like I’m open to whatever life brings me. It feels like a nice healthy partnership between me and The Big Guy. He offers and I have the choice as to whether I say yes or no.
I often pray for guidance and I’m specific – maybe even bossy. I always ask God to give me my guidance in a way that I will understand and because I’m a big reader I usually stipulate that the best way to ‘talk’ to me is through something I’m likely going to read. A book, a magazine, maybe even one of those benches at the bus stop; you know the ones that say “you just proved our advertizing works”. Imagine me sitting down to read one of the magazines that I regularly read and I happen to open it at an almost blank white page and all it says on it, right in the middle, is “Here is your gift!” It was like the Christmas M&M commercial where Santa and the M&M’s see each other and they say “they do exist” “he does exist” and then they faint. OMG! He’s been listening, He hears me and He doesn’t mind my bossiness; here’s the sign I’ve been waiting for. I’m so excited – my life is going to change – right here, right now. God is going to tell me my destiny, my calling!! But alas; no, it’s just Cash Peters in Spirituality and Health telling me and every other reader to listen to our lives because the clues we all look for are there if we can only see them and heed their calls. And that brings me back to what this is all about for me, looking and listening and finding the good stuff and by honouring all that’s good in my life even if I never hear ‘the’ call at least I can say I’m doing what my heart tells me to – and in the end maybe that’s all the call I need.