Thursday, November 10, 2011

Ebb and Flow

Everything moves in cycles – including life; I know this. What I don’t know right now, is when I’m going to be on an upswing.

Since early May it feels like it’s been one stressful thing after another. My father died and I thought that would be the bottom and yet things continue to pile on. Some days its small things like my car not starting and other days its bigger things, like the continued estrangement from my mother.

Between the stress, my anxiety and my ADD my brain is one constant swirling mess. It’s like being on a racetrack and trying to keep up with all the other cars. The only difference is that the race cars and their drivers get pit stops when needed.

I don’t feel like myself these days. I’m cranky and short tempered. I can’t even concentrate long enough to read a paragraph. I know things have gotten out of hand when I can’t read; reading has always been my favourite thing to do and when needed, my best escape from the stresses of life.

I find myself this week trying to deal with a minor family crisis and a lousy medical diagnosis. While I’m trying my best, anyone need only look around my house to see that I’m only spinning my wheels. The dishes aren’t done, the laundry is piling up. Things have gone from bad to worse around here and in all honesty I’d rather play solitaire or angry birds than do much else.

Albert Einstein has been famously quoted saying that you can’t solve your problems with the same thinking that caused them. Apparently I need to think differently, or maybe I need a pit stop. Either way - something’s got to give.

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