Friday, May 25, 2012

Pre-empting Regular Scheduled Programming

Barefoot Friday will return next week. J

It’s been a long time coming – today’s the day! We’ve had an addition to our family.

This is one happy guy!!

After months of deliberation and visits to every fucking tractor dealership a couple of dealers in our area Jon we decided on a Kubota. Isn’t she cute?

This is my contribution to the decision making.....

I really wanted a back hoe for all my big garden plans. I/we managed to talk ourselves out of it a few times but ultimately we decided that if we were spending the money to get a tractor we might as well get exactly what we wanted.

P.S. Now my lawn can finally be mowed.

Wednesday, May 23, 2012

It’s a Celebration!

I’ve been blogging since July of last year and today marks my 150th post. Wow!! I’ve never been very good at acknowledging when good things happen to me so today I decided that I would do just that.

This is a big pat on my own back. Over 150 posts I’ve written approximately 60,000 words and that’s the equivalent of a small book. YAY!!! Good for me!

Although there are about 1.2 million blogs in the blogosphere only a very small percent of them are active and most bloggers never make it past 30 posts so I’m pretty proud of myself.

I’m going to celebrate by posting a few of my favourite pictures from over these last 150 posts. 

Thanks for joining me here...I very much appreciate that you do. Onwards and upwards. I’m hoping to grow my readership over the next 150 posts so if you see something you like or read something that resonates I’d love it if you’d tell your friends and share. J

Tuesday, May 22, 2012

What Do Dreams Ask of Us?

I just read ‘A Year by the Sea’ by Joan Anderson. It’s about a woman who’s at midlife and questioning the choices she’s made and the life she’s lived. It seems particularly relevant to me at the moment and on almost every page I found myself nodding or smiling to myself in understanding.

One of the things she says that I just can’t shake is “It’s hard for most of the women I know to state what they want, because they’ve gotten used to wanting only what’s available.” An ah ha moment much?! I had to put the book down because of an overwhelming urge to weep.

Instead of weeping I asked myself why I was feeling so sad. Why did that comment ring so true with me?

As I’ve often said here – I’ve never been quite sure of my dreams and for a long time I didn’t even think I had any, but this reminded me that I do have them; I’ve buried them along with so many other things because desire is difficult, it’s hard and scary and nearly impossible to trust. It’s easier and certainly less risky to be happy with what you have, to not want too much. Dream of what you know and what you have seems like sage advice to many of us. It’s so much easier to want what you’ve got and what’s available than hope for something different or something more.

Dreams ask too much of us.

They ask us to be someone we’re not and someone we may not believe ourselves to ever be. They ask us to be brave and authentic and sometimes they ask for our very lives. It can be a high price to pay if we fail. But the price we pay to bury them is higher still. I once asked John Assaraf ( how we truly know what our dreams are and he answered me with “anything you’re willing to trade your life for”, WHOA – WTF?? Trade my life? You’re kidding right? No; he really wasn’t. Isn’t that the truth, and isn’t it the scariest thing you can imagine? It is to me – and that’s why I wanted to weep and to put the book away forever.

I’ve only ever wanted what was available to least that’s all I’ve admitted to so far.

When I met Jon one of the things that amazed me about him (and it still does) is his unlimited imagination and willingness to say out loud what it is he most wants. He’s so brave. I’ve been inspired over and over again in our years together and I think I’m almost brave enough to admit out loud what my dreams really are. I’m almost ready to “trade my life” in the answer of my dreams...almost, but not quite. Enough to keep the weeping at bay and for now that’s enough.

I have to be sure that once I admit to my dreams that I can willingly give them what they demand because I know they will be demanding and if I’m going to trade my life for something I want to be able to do it wholeheartedly and with all my courage and love. My dreams deserve my very best – all our dreams do.

Wednesday, May 16, 2012

I think I'm Back

I wasn't sure how long I was going to be gone and I'm not sure I'm back for good but I've missed being here. So I thought I'd just catch you up on what's been going on around here.

We've had some visitors....

The crab apple trees, regular apple trees and the pear trees are blooming...

Although I haven't figured out the garden plan yet the flowers don't seem to mind...

We have a couple of new trees....

As you can see Spring has happily joined us here. The yard and garden are still a huge mess and we haven't even mowed the lawn yet. The grass is so long that it's a very good thing we have big dogs or they'd be lost, but our lawn mower bit the dust and Jon is trying to figure out what to do about.

The house renovations haven't progressed very far but for some reason I'm not too worried about them. They'll get done. I'm still very excited about our pond. We haven't done anything but design there either but it's all coming together in our minds eye and it has to start somewhere!

With the long weekend coming I hope to have the plan for the garden done so I can get some work done...but if it's not then I'll just wing it - that's what I usually do and it always turns out fine. And if it doesn't then I'll just change it!

It's good to be back. I'll see you Friday. J

Tuesday, May 1, 2012

Curve Balls – right to the head

You know how life has a way of throwing you curve balls every now again? They seem to come out of nowhere and knock you upside the head, usually when you think things are going alright. Some of these curve balls are easy and the adjustments are quick and painless while others really seem to knock you off course and it takes some time to make the necessary adjustments.

That’s where I am right now – a big curveball came right out of left field and now I need some time to get my bearings and readjust my heading. I hope you can be patient with me as I do this. All I need is some time.

So with that in mind I’m taking a short sabbatical from writing here. I know this is weird timing but it can’t be helped, (an unexpected curve ball to the head can’t be planned for - lol). At the moment I can’t say for certain how long it might be, a week or a month – I really don’t know. I can tell you that I will be back at the latest by June 1st.

I hope everyone has a wonderful May – get out and start your gardening!! I will see you soon. J